April is indeed the cruelest month; not only does it make our beloved tweeds & flannels disappear – swept to the most recondite corner of our wardrobe – but it also plagues us with atrocious “end of season” sales. If you’ve ever shopped for bargains during this time of the year, you’ll know that, despite dirt-cheap prices, there is hardly anything worth even considering. A quick look at Yoox’s infamous 90% off sale confirmed this tendency hasn’t changed in 2018. In fact, it might just be even worse.
As a propitiatory act to welcome spring, here I present you the very worst (and I mean bottom-of-the-barrel, atrocious, borderline grotesque) of Yoox’s last sale of the season. Hide your credit cards, everyone!
I feel like the only way this design could be improved would be adding random typos and grammar mistakes. Could you picture an Italian grandma knitting it for you and threatening to hit you with a rolling pin if you don’t wear it at the family dinner?
Sadly the logo trend doesn’t seem to be just a fad, and we have to accept that even the most respected fashion and tailoring houses embraced it. Take this polo shirt by Isaia, featuring a menacing coral branch creeping up your pecs – and think that this is as classy as this can get.
I don’t know if I’m more amused by the fact the name of the brand translates into “Terror” in Italian, or by the tomato color of these pants, which, as if they weren’t terrifying enough for cut and shade, are also cropped above the ankle to give you a delightful high waters effect. Can you believe they’re down to $16 from over $150?
I’m not sure what would prompt a mentally stable adult to shell out $425 (on sale!) for an accurate representation of Bella’s rose from Beauty and the Beast, but here we have it.
Because what screams badass more than a pair of bulky kicks made out of genuine Targaryen dragon skin?
Naturally, there are some real gems you can buy during the sale – you just have to be really good at finding them. If I were you, I’d try getting a pair of Castaner espadrilles before summer comes and you’ll likely not find them at such good price for a while.
Please share with us your #atrociousyooxfinds under this post or on the forum.