What Should I Ask My Groomsmen to Wear?

Posted on May 19, 2018 by Styleforum Editors

Your goals in choosing wedding attire should be to be comfortable, look wonderful, and continue to look wonderful in the pictures twenty and thirty years from now. Do not choose something because you think it looks cute or trendy or fashionable. Remember that you’ll be looking at these pictures for a long time, long after you realized that your coral-colored socks or teal bowtie weren’t as rad as you thought at the time. Naturally, this applies to the outfits of your groomsmen too.

An example of what you don’t want your wedding album to look like.

Start by reading this speech given by Manton: The London Lounge – Wedding Attire

You should now know everything you need about groomly attire. What about the groomsmen? Your wedding planner and/or fiancée may have the urge to make the groomsmen all match. Resist this urge. There are two reasons not to force groomsmen to match.

The first is that it means that they will either all have to rent suits, or all have to buy the same cheap suit. In either case, they will not be wearing a quality garment that fits them well.

Second, it looks ridiculous. It looks like the wedding party is two sets of 8-year old manytuplets dolled up for their family photo. Most of all, do not force them all to wear the same tie, which also matches the bridesmaid’s outfits.

Among the sins committed by the wedding planning industry, this may be the gravest. If your fiancée insists on the groomsmen matching, you’ll have to decide how much you care about this issue. But almost every one of the many threads started by grooms asking about attire for themselves and their groomsmen begins, “the bridesmaids are wearing this color, is it OK if my groomsmen or my groomsmen and I all wear this suit with this tie,” and is quickly followed by a number of SF members trying to convince the groom to avoid giving his groomsmen a uniform.

Instead, give your groomsmen some basic parameters within which they should all be able to operate and tell them to look their best. For instance, “mid-grey suit with a light blue shirt”, “navy suit with a white shirt”, or “charcoal suit with a white shirt.” Choose something solid that everyone should have. It’s fine to ask them all ahead of time if they all have grey or navy, and then go with whatever they all have already. No black suits. It’s a wedding, not a funeral.

If your wedding is less formal and in the daytime, you could choose a lighter, non-conservative-business-suit color, such as tan or light grey. However this is not something every man has in his closet, so you may have to inquire as to whether your groomsmen have such suits or would be willing to buy them for the occasion.

Black shoes are the risk-free option. Some people will tell you black shoes are the only option. But for any wedding that is informal enough not to be black tie or morning dress, it is unlikely anyone will point and laugh at tasteful dark brown or oxblood shoes. However, telling your groomsmen to wear brown shoes increases the risk that they will wear something not up to the formality of the occasion.

It is traditional for the groom to give neckties to his groomsmen. If you wish to do this, again, don’t get matching ties, but ties that all complement each other and are appropriate to the occasion. Choose any out of the following and it would be difficult for you to go wrong:

Kent Wang – Ties Glen Plaid
Kent Wang – Grenadine Steel Blue
Kent Wang – Grenadine Navy

Drake’s Navy & Silver Cross Grid Silk Jacquard
Drake’s – Navy Polka Dot Light Silk Jacquard
Drake’s – Silver Grenadine Garza Grossa

If you have enough time for bespoke ties to be made for you (email to be sure, but usually 4-6 weeks), visit samhober.com for a large selection of grenadine, Macclesfield and wedding ties, made to your specifications. Choosing all bowties isn’t totally ridiculous, but does look much more contrived than a selection of long ties. Sometimes even mixing bowties and long ties can work.

Browse more solids and wedding patterns on the “wedding ties” thread.

Following this simple strategy will ensure that everyone involved will look great on the big day and for years to come in the hundreds of photographs that will live on happily into eternity. As an added bonus, your groomsmen won’t resent you for forcing them to spend hundreds of dollars buying or renting clothing they don’t want and doesn’t fit them well.

This article is an edited and revamped version of an article published on Styleforum by Styleforum member Shawea.

The Basics of Wedding Attire for Men: American and English Weddings

Posted on May 6, 2018 by Styleforum Editors

In America, the most common wedding attire for a groom is either a lounge suit or a tuxedo.

The Jacket
If you decide to get married in a tuxedo, the most flattering and traditional choice is to select a 1 button jacket with a peak lapel. The facings (lapels) should be in silk, but in most cases, satin will also be suitable.
Tuxes can come in 2, 3 or even 4 button form, but on the whole, they look far too much like suits. The same can be said about notch-lapels; if you are going to wear a tux, then do it right. Peak lapels are the ones that point upwards, like the peaks of mountains.

The Trousers
Trouser for a tuxedo should be in a fabric that matches the jacket. When you see people in a green jacket and black trousers, they are actually wearing a smoking jacket, not a tux. Trousers should have a stripe of material down the outside of each leg made from the same stuff that your lapel is made from –be it silk or satin.

Accessories
The Tie should always be a bow-tie. Although many Hollywood stars like to wear neckties or cravats, they should be largely ignored. Unless you are arriving in a helicopter and have a few superstars in attendance, just keep it simple. A black bowtie made from satin or barathea (a matte type of silk) that is self-tie. Resist the clip on! Taking that extra minute or so to tie a bowtie by hand makes all the difference and helps retains some personality in the knot.

The Pocket Square
It should be simple white to match the shirt. Straight line fold, triangles, and multiple points are all acceptable. Think James Bond.

Cufflinks and Studs
Gold, Black, Silver, Onyx. Anything you like, just make sure that they match each other and your watch. Mixing metals can be tricky and is generally best avoided. Having said that, don’t think that you can’t wear your grandfather’s gold war-watch because your wedding band is in platinum. When it comes to weddings, items of sentimental value trump the rules every time.

Shoes
Shoes should be black patent lace-ups or if you want a pair you can use every day afterward then pick up a wholecut or cap-toe in black from a decent maker. Remember to wear them a few times before the big day, nothing is worse than walking around with blisters!

wedding attire wedding tuxedo tux styleforum example

SF member Newcomer via the Official Wedding Attire thread.

There are two ways in which you can approach choosing a suit for your wedding: pick a cloth that is very different from something you wear at the office, so that you don’t feel like you’re going to work, OR pick a suit that you can wear many hundreds of times after you get married, in order to be financially prudent.
Only you can make that kind of decision, but on the whole, there are some guidelines:
Pick sensible colors. While you may love the look of the brown suit today, how will it look when you show the kids your wedding photos? Greys, Navy, and Charcoals are going to stand the test of time better than that sky-blue velvet number you had your heart on.
Two button suits are most proportionate on gentlemen under 6 foot in height. Once you hit the 6ft mark, you can use the 2 button suit to make you appear slimmer and taller, or a 3 button to bring you back into proportion. Generally, a big, tall man in a 3 button suit, looks similar to a normal man in a 2 button suit.
Shoes can be black or brown, but make sure that they are highly polished and worn a few times before the big day. I cannot overstate the importance of breaking in your shoes before you want them used.

wedding attire guests appropriate styleforum

SF member and contributor Mossrockss via the Official Wedding Attire thread.

Rule one is always wear a suit. While some guests may turn up in a polo shirt and khakis, you can always ditch your tie for a bit of James Bond flair. Any outfit can be made more casual, but you can’t magic up a tie when you’re the one who’s underdressed.
Blue, Grey, and Brown are all acceptable. Two-button without a waistcoat is more modern, but stepping up to a three-piece can be a nice way to formalize the affair.
Never wear a black suit. Black is a funeral color and most definitely not welcome at weddings.
Ties and pocket squares should complement each other and also complement your date’s outfit, or if you would rather pick out a color of the wedding theme this is permitted as well. Shirts should be light blue, pink or white. Firstly this makes everyone look a little happier by using high-key colors, but also because weddings often mean standing around in the sun or in hot rooms. Sweat patches don’t show of light colors but spread heavily on dark.
Shoes should be black unless you are wearing a very light color of suit, in which case tan may be acceptable.

When it comes to wedding attire, English grooms have the choice of wearing a morning suit (most formal) or a lounge suit.

The morning suit is the most formal attire in use for weddings in the UK and Europe, and even now only represents a very small minority of cases. If Your invitation states “Morning Dress” or some variation thereof then you should consider a suit to a last resort.

The Coat
Morning coats are scarce in the UK so you are limited to Bespoke or a few OTR stores. The coat should be charcoal and made from wool where ever possible. If you are renting then this may not be possible, but do your best.

The Trousers
The trousers of a morning suit should be black with charcoal or chalk stripes known as “cashmere stripes”. This is one of the rare occasions on which matching the trousers to the cloth of the coat is considered wrong. There should be a distinct difference. The cut can be slightly fuller than your normal “slim” trousers; there has never been such a thing as a slim-fit morning suit.

Accessories
The tie should be a satin in pastel colors; pink blue and peach are popular choices. Handkerchiefs can co-ordinate or consider a white linen version if you prefer a more classic look.
Shirts should be white. I would choose a poplin, although still is nicer to touch, it is also thicker and therefore warmer. A morning coat stays closed at all times so you might get a little warm.

Shoes
They should always be black and as plain as you can find. Do I need to say it again? Wear them at least three times before the big day, blisters aren’t cool.

**Note** This is section is the same as the American version. Reading it twice will be boring.

There are two ways in which you can approach choosing a suit for your wedding: pick a cloth that is very different from something you wear at the office, so that you don’t feel like you’re going to work, OR pick a suit that you can wear many hundreds of times after you get married, in order to be financially prudent.
Only you can make that kind of decision, but on the whole, there are some guidelines:
Pick sensible colors. While you may love the look of the brown suit today, how will it look when you show the kids your wedding photos? Greys, Navy, and Charcoals are going to stand the test of time better than that sky-blue velvet number you had your heart on.
Two-button suits are most proportionate on gentlemen under 6 foot in height. Once you hit the 6ft mark, you can use the 2 button suit to make you appear slimmer and taller, or a 3 button to bring you back into proportion. Generally, a big, tall man in a 3 button suit, looks similar to a normal man in a 2 button suit.
Shoes can be black or brown, but make sure that they are highly polished and worn a few times before the big day. I cannot overstate the importance of breaking in your shoes before you want them used.

If you’d like to discuss the state of black tie, join the conversation on this thread on Styleforum.

If you’d like suggestions and tips regarding your wedding outfit, you can visit the Official Wedding Attire thread.

This article is an edited and revamped version of an article originally published on September 16, 2011, on Styleforum.net by the user Blackhood.

Buying a Wedding Suit You’ll Wear After a Wedding

Posted on May 16, 2017 by Styleforum Editors

You’ve browsed our wedding overview. You’ve read about the one and only suit you need for almost any wedding. The thing is, you’re not a suit person – maybe you don’t need to wear them regularly, maybe you don’t like to wear them, maybe the One Suit suit is perfect for you, or maybe it just doesn’t fit your needs. Either way is fine, because today we’re going to discuss how to pick a wedding suit that you’ll wear after the wedding is done.

If you’re a regular reader of Styleforum, you’ve probably picked up on the idea that there is one kind of suit that is suitable for the widest range of occasions, weddings included. Because of this, we call it the One Suit, and here are its vital stats:

Charcoal (or navy)
Mid-weight (3-season) wool
Single breasted
Notch lapel
Properly fitting

The purpose of the One Suit is that it can be worn to 99% of the weddings you’ll ever go to, including your own. A charcoal (or navy) suit with a proper wedding tie and a white linen pocket square is only out of place when the dress code calls for something specifically different – such as “black tie” or “beach wedding: no shoes allowed.” In the case of the former, please see our guide to black tie. In the case of the latter – we’ll discuss that another time.

The One Suit can be found at just about every suit retailer, at every conceivable price point. This makes it easy to find something appropriate if you’re shopping on a budget, and easy to branch out into something nicer if you’re interested in spending more money.

In addition to being wedding-appropriate, the One Suit will carry you through job interviews, nice dinners, important meetings, and memorial services. You can change the shoes, tie, and pocket square and be well-dressed wherever you go. It is the workhorse suit, which is why we recommend it as the first wedding suit you should consider buying. If you think there is a chance you will ever need to wear a suit again in the future, this is a sure-fire option.

Here are some examples of ideal One Suits:

1. SuitSupply “Napoli” – $399

2. Kent Wang Charcoal Suit – $795

3. Polo Ralph Lauren Wool Twill Suit – $995

However, alternative situations call for alternative options. Let’s consider the example of a cousin of mine, a biologist who is getting married this June, and who spends most of his life in shorts and flip-flops. This will not be a formal occasion – it’s a very casual affair, being held in a field by a stream, and neither jackets or ties are required. After some deliberation, he decided he nonetheless wanted to wear a suit. And so, we went suit shopping.

In this case, it made no sense for him to end up with a business-appropriate charcoal suit in a grey worsted wool. He would have worn it once, looked out of place at his own wedding, felt uncomfortable in his own skin, and then retired the suit to his closet for all eternity. In other words, it would have been a wasted expense in every conceivable way. And so, we started looking at alternative fabrics – cottons, linens, and blends of all kinds. As we went through these options, he tried each one on, looked at himself in the mirror, and then tried to imagine if he’d ever wear it again. Suit after suit, “No” was the answer. He simply has no reason to wear one – the fish he studies won’t be impressed by it, and although he wanted to look nice for his wedding, he didn’t think it made sense to spend a lot of money on something that brought him no joy.

After many hours of frowns and frustration, he found the one that would work for him: a navy blue wool and linen-blend Eidos ‘Tenero’ suit. He liked the texture, but more importantly: he liked the way he looked in it. I can’t overstate the importance of this feature: if you do not feel good in your suit, and if you do not think you look good in your suit, you will not enjoy wearing it.

Here’s the kicker: it was the first suit he’d tried on that he said he could see himself wearing again. On trips, or on occasions that call for more than shorts and flip-flops, he’ll be able to wear the jacket alone with a pair of jeans; when the situation calls for it he’ll be able to wear the whole thing together. It’s unique enough that he’ll be able to enjoy it, but not so much so that he’ll never have the occasion to. I think he’s still struggling with the idea of a tie and leather-soled shoes, but in this case the suit ticked all of the necessary boxes.

Here are some examples of alternative suits that nonetheless have the potential to see a lot of use:

1. SuitSupply “Lazio” in brown linen

2. Eidos Fresco wool suit, $1,695 from No Man Walks Alone

3. Ring Jacket AMJ01 in olive wool, $1,800 from The Armoury

The lesson here is that, while the standard recommendations are standard for a reason, you should always take your own circumstances into consideration when choosing a suit. Here are the questions you should ask yourself when you’re shopping for a wedding suit to wear after a wedding:

What sort of occasion is it for? Is it just for weddings, or do you want to wear it during the work week as well?
- Consider the example of my cousin. Does the One Suit make sense for your situation? If you are attending a summer wedding hosted by a pair of young bohemians who don’t bother with tradition, perhaps a light-colored linen suit will be a better fit for your needs and your lifestyle.
When will you be wearing it? Which seasons? Will it be hot or cold?
- Example: you really love tweed, and will have an excuse to wear tweed when you attend an autumn wedding on the East Coast. However, you live in Southern California. In this case, don’t buy the tweed suit – opt instead for something that will fit your climate.
What’s your budget? It’s my opinion that clothes are made to be worn, so if you’re planning to spend some cash, I hope you’ll be wearing it regularly.
- Budget varies by person. That said, if you are going to spend 2,000$ or more on a wedding suit, I hope that it will be one you plan to wear regularly.

Remember, if you’re looking for maximum reusability, a wedding is not the occasion to buy a ridiculous, one-off suit – because there are still things you shouldn’t do at a wedding. If you’ve been asked to attend a wedding that is at all formal or conservative, and the dress code has indicated that you wear a suit, your best bet is still the One Suit.

If you have questions about your own situation, feel free to ask them here or post them in the Wedding Advice Thread, where Styleforum’s knowledgable members will do their best to solve your sartorial conundrums.

The Styleforum Journal

The Editorial Voice of Styleforum.net

Tag Archives: wedding attire

What Should I Ask My Groomsmen to Wear?

The Basics of Wedding Attire for Men: American and English Weddings

Buying a Wedding Suit You’ll Wear After a Wedding