The Absolute Worst of Yoox End of Season Sale

April is indeed the cruelest month; not only does it make our beloved tweeds & flannels disappear – swept to the most recondite corner of our wardrobe – but it also plagues us with atrocious “end of season” sales. If you’ve ever shopped for bargains during this time of the year, you’ll know that, despite dirt-cheap prices, there is hardly anything worth even considering. A quick look at Yoox’s infamous 90% off sale confirmed this tendency hasn’t changed in 2018. In fact, it might just be even worse.

As a propitiatory act to welcome spring, here I present you the very worst (and I mean bottom-of-the-barrel, atrocious, borderline grotesque) of Yoox’s last sale of the season. Hide your credit cards, everyone!


Caruso sweater

I feel like the only way this design could be improved would be adding random typos and grammar mistakes. Could you picture an Italian grandma knitting it for you and threatening to hit you with a rolling pin if you don’t wear it at the family dinner?


Isaia polo shirt


Sadly the logo trend doesn’t seem to be just a fad, and we have to accept that even the most respected fashion and tailoring houses embraced it. Take this polo shirt by Isaia, featuring a menacing coral branch creeping up your pecs – and think that this is as classy as this can get.


PAURA 5 pocket pants

I don’t know if I’m more amused by the fact the name of the brand translates into “Terror” in Italian, or by the tomato color of these pants, which, as if they weren’t terrifying enough for cut and shade, are also cropped above the ankle to give you a delightful high waters effect. Can you believe they’re down to $16 from over $150?


Beauty & The Beast Forever Rose

I’m not sure what would prompt a mentally stable adult to shell out $425 (on sale!) for an accurate representation of Bella’s rose from Beauty and the Beast, but here we have it.


Dolce & Gabbana Sneakers

Because what screams badass more than a pair of bulky kicks made out of genuine Targaryen dragon skin?

Naturally, there are some real gems you can buy during the sale – you just have to be really good at finding them. If I were you, I’d try getting a pair of Castaner espadrilles before summer comes and you’ll likely not find them at such good price for a while.

Please share with us your #atrociousyooxfinds under this post or on the forum.

The Styleforum First Cut—May 8

Styleforum hosted a little party over the weekend. I’m still hungover, and I wasn’t even there. Photos and summaries in the forum thread and on various tumblrs, like a bit of color or edwinzee.

The Wall Street Journal goes in on the watering down of the term “bespoke.” “Made to measure” crackers just doesn’t have the same ring though.

The Met Gala was last night (that’s right, the Met, you get second billing here). There’s some pictures of guys in tuxedos in here somewhere, but you can be forgiven for ignoring them in favor of Anja Rubik.

Permanent Style gets into summer shirting with chambray. Turns out it’s not just for workwear.

Kanye hates #menswear. #menswear sulks.

Tmag blog reviews the new Kitsune store. They bury the lede that Kitsune sells oxford shirts for $349.

Yoox code alert:  HEADSTART@YOOX for 10% off through May 10 (may be exclusions).

Styleforum Swag Bulletin–April 24.

Woolrich introduces the Woolrich Elite Concealed Carry line. Bulge only in the places you want to. (NYT)

Cucinelli IPO oversubscribed! I don’t know what that means! (Reuters)

The eloquent and esteemed Reginald Jerome de Mans discusses the value of character via a pair of someone else’s bespoke shoes. Careful, there’s some big words in there. (A Suitable Wardrobe, pictured)

The debut of a men’s focused London fashion week in June will include Oliver Spencer, Tom Ford, Tautz, Aitor Throup, J.W. Anderson, Richard Nicholl, and Richard James, among others. An opening event will be hosted by HRH the Prince of Wales. OMG who will he wear?

Yoox takes 20% off a bunch of stuff, including tons of Italian shirts and suits and some smaller selections of Nigel Cabourn, Our Legacy, Rick Owens, Margiela, etc. (No code, prices marked)

The Styleforum Reader–April 16

Lapo Elkann wearing Rubinacci in L’Uomo Vogue, via Rubinacci Club. Lapo is touching the ground in exactly half of the photos.

Hipsterpalooza: Mister Mort’s been posting Coachella style shots on his tumblr. Ladies in vintage Air Jordan teeshirts = HYFR.

Simply Refined’s Stephen Pulvirent talks ordering butterfly loafers from Ed Et Al shoes, a Singaporean custom shoemaker.

Wax/Wane gives some history on Mackintosh rainwear. Fun fact: The “k” actually stands for KFC; founder Charles Macintosh was a big original recipe fan (10).

The Corner is offering free express shipping through April 23. Get your Dsquared bathing suit in time for next weekend.

Men’s clothing classified of the day: Edward Green Dovers, tan scotch grain, recrafted, UK9.5.

Streetwear and Denim classified of the day: Alden/Steven Alan plain toe boots in suede, size 12D.

New arrivals from Cucinelli and Dries Van Noten at yoox.

The Styleforum Daily Collar–April 11.