Mr. Porter has, apparently, worked with the costume designer and wardrobe supervisor of the ‘Kingsman’ movie franchise to put together one of those capsule collections we all love so much. Mr. P’s always been, in my mind, the go-to e-store for dudes who want to look like James Bond, so I guess I’m not surprised. Still, I say bollocks, because I frankly couldn’t believe the one trailer I saw for the upcoming Kingsman film wasn’t a joke. I guess there’s only room in my heart for one secret agent (hint: it’s Kim Possible).
Even so, you (and I, I guess) are in luck, because if you want to dress like Bond MP’s still got your back. There’s probably no better time to do so, especially since there’s supposedly going to be another film in 2019, even if we don’t know who’ll be in it. Hell, maybe I have a shot. If I had to guess, here’s what Bond would buy on Mr. Porter:
1. Nothing says Bond like a Dinner suit, and apparently Jeffrey Deaver (who writes books) dressed Jim in Canali in a recent novel. No complaints from me – that’s a nice tux. Black tie season is coming, and a real secret agent would be prepared in advance.
2. Okay, so maybe the other garment that really screams BOND is a dressing gown, because it totally makes sense that a secret agent dude has time to wear one of those when hunting down baddies. Anyway, this one’s got a nice pattern on it, which is probably good for distracting people who barge in on you, guns drawn, while your tongue is halfway down a supermodel’s throat. It’s like dazzle camo, but for a gentleman.
3. I’m pretty sure it’s written somewhere in the top secret James Bond contract that you must wear a turtleneck at some point. And, frankly, this one’s pretty badass. Heavy wool, a trim fit, and a solid rollneck make this a sweater for a rough ‘n ready Bond. Wear it the next time you get thrown into the ocean.
4. Similarly, the white cotton shirt is a Bond staple. Given film Bond’s predilection for Turnbull and Asser, it seems only fitting to suggest one of the London house’s staple staples: white cotton, and nothing else. Bring extras, because bloodstains.
5. Every Bond worth his liquor needs a good ski vacation. That means you need a wardrobe worthy of après-ski celebrations (and libations), and that means you need ridiculous leather hiking boots like these ones.
6. All joking aside, a black captoe oxford really is a wardrobe staple. You can even wear them with your tux if you’ve got nothing else. Smart shoes such as these showcase the best of Bond: quality, no-nonsense, generally ready to kick some ass, get drunk, or do both in the same afternoon.
7. After you’ve been to the Alps, you may as well head to the beach for a well-deserved rest, along with a taste of local delights with a side of murder. Connery’s Bond has always been a good source of swimspiration (hashtag #swimspiration) [note: I just googled ‘swimspiration’ and apparently it’s a thing], and this Orlebar Brown terrycloth polo is the perfect option to showcase your chest hair.
8. On that note, short, light-blue swim trunks are definitely in order. Just make sure they’re tight, and that you haven’t been skipping leg day.
9. Oh, and don’t even think about trying to vacation Bond-style without a camp-collar shirt. Sean Connery loved these, and lucky for you, they’re having a moment. Pick one with long sleeves so you can wear it as the days start to grow shorter. This one also gestures, idly, to Connery’s predilection for safari shirts.
10. Sometimes Bond (or, more accurately, Daniel Craig) does in fact wear jeans, and when he does, he usually wears chukkas. Not a bad choice – they’re comfy, and go with most things you’ll find in a tailored wardrobe. In fact, if you read Styleforum you probably have some, Bond fan or otherwise. Perhaps you’re James Bond already.
11. Bond. Grey flannel. The two go together like sex and guns, and we at Styleforum (read: Peter Zottolo) are huge fans of suits such as this. Even if you don’t want to be like Bond, you do want to be like Peter. Trust me on this one.
12. At home with jeans, slacks, or full nudity, nothing says “I’m rugged, refined, and ready for anything as long as it doesn’t rain” like a suede blouson. Even if you’re tragically uncool and un-dashing, you can drape this over the back of a fancy chair and just look at it for a while if you want.